Archive for March, 2009


Fox Isn’t Funny Anymore

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 by Matt

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This post is long overdue, but I finally got around to writing it. Incase you can’t tell what this is about already it’s about the whole Fox News / Red Eye event. And incase you have been living under a rock or something, Fox had some show that the made fun of Canada’s army.

However, my post is not raging at Fox. It’s raging at the Canadians who got pissed off at Fox because of this whole event. The hosts of the Red Eye show were making fun of Canada without knowing ANY knowledge of it. It’s funny how hypocritical it was. “I didn’t know Canada even had an army.” Awesome, and you’re complaining about the Canadian army without knowing it ever existed in the first place. I was watching it with the impression of it “being the most offensive shit ever” and all I got was a bunch of laughs on how stupid those hosts were.

So Canadians, stop bitching they’re idiots. That’s like crying because you got insulted by a mentally retarded person.

Earth Hour: The Fate Of The World

Saturday, March 28th, 2009 by Matt

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So it’s Earth Hour and hipsters everyone are turning off their lights and trying to save the environment. Woohoo, turning off your lights makes a huge impact. I do that everyday, I sit in my dark room and listen to music. Now what gets me the most is the ad I’ve seen on the TTC for it. “The one day when sitting in a dark room alone isn’t creepy.” Now I have no idea how the meant us to interpret this, either they meant it in a horror movie type of deal or they meant it in a person with no friends.

If it is the second choice they kind of have their head up their own ass. If I am eco friendly and turn off my lights everyday then I am creepy? Awesome, job there. I guess I am only cool if I be eco-friendly on Earth Hour. If you are participating in this crap I hope you have fun twittering. After all, on the website it tells you to document the event as it is happening. So I will do that:

8:30PM: Lights are off, have nothing to do except browse the internet.
9:00PM: Got a craving for coffee, made some. Shit tastes good in the dark.
9:30PM: Lights are off, have nothing to do expect browse the internet.

So what did I learn today? For the first time ever sitting in a room without the lights on means I am a hipster. I feel so dirty.

Videogames Are Bad

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 by Matt

fictionalviolence

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So as the drawing states, today I went to school and decided to terrorize everyone. So I decided to do this videogame style. So I entered the school and suddenly got a random battle sequence. I was there facing 3 armoured enemies and we decided to use turn-based combat. I was outnumbered, I could not win. I was close to dying but then I had a potion in my inventory so I used it. I then defeated all the enemies, the battle was over and the victory fanfare played.

The above paragraph sounds pretty stupid doesn’t it? Well to some parents it might just show my insanity. In case you can’t tell what I am talking about, I am talking about relating school shootings to videogames. So suddenly killing terrorists by clicking a mouse is the same as firing a gun at real people. Video games offer a player the ability to do a lot of shit they are not able to do in real life. You will never get the chance to kill space Nazis in real life.

The reason videogames get blamed for all this crap is because parents don’t understand them. It’s easy to blame something you don’t understand. Remember how Evils was the music of the devil? Or how Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon because of Catcher in the Rye? People blamed that stuff because they didn’t understand it. Now what? We look at that now and we think it’s a joke.

Wait, This Is M Rated?

Monday, March 23rd, 2009 by Matt

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So we all play M-rated games. When we play them we expect blood, sexual content, and coarse language. It’s awesome, but recently I was playing some Counter-Strike and some killed me. I responded “you fucking  bastard” and I got kicked for swearing. I was really confused, I was playing an M-rated game, with an ESRB warning that said “content may change while playing online.” So people get offended when I swear, but they shoot others in the head with blood flying everywhere. It’s pretty stupid. There’s even Christian CS servers, it was really fun running around and saying “god doesn’t exist” but why the hell are Christians even playing CS?

That’s even more stupid is the whole Grand Theft Auto Hot Coffee issue. Basically there was a hidden part of the game that you can have sex with your dates. You don’t see any body parts or anything, but it still made headline news and Rockstar even had a program in which they paid you if got offended because of that scene. Parents were saying “oh I had no idea this scene was in the game, if I knew this game had sex, I wouldn’t have bought it for my son.” So I ask the question, WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUY YOUR SON GTA ANYWAYS? It’s a game about killing and killing. One little thing like a sex scene and you fucking go crazy.

The point of the article is it’s an M-rated game, grow some balls and stop being offended with everything. After all the game is rated M for MATURE. You are hardly mature if you cry like you do.

Swearing Is Fun, Tell Your Kids

Saturday, March 21st, 2009 by Matt

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So I was sitting in McDonalds having a conversation with a friend one day, it was pretty much what I do here, I ranted about some shit. Anyways, I dropped the f-bomb (fuck) a few times. So this mother went up to me and asked me not to swear in front of her kids. I responded: “uh what?”  You see, why should I do the mother’s job for her. If she wants to keep her kids from the evils of sex, violence and coarse language she should do it herself. Don’t like people swearing in public? Well you better take your kids out of school, get rid of their internet, and cut off all social interaction they have with the outside world. People swear, it’s human nature.

Before I get farther into this, swearing is shown as something bad and evil when it really isn’t. The reason people don’t like swearing is because they are told that it’s bad so they don’t do it. Swear words are like any other word. Fuck means sexual intercourse, dick is a synonym for penis, and shit is a synonym for feces. All swear words have proper definitions and usually subsitute for another word. The only way I see swear words being different is that they appear to be a form of slang, which unless you are some English major it doesn’t matter.

Now if you tell your kids that swearing is bad and that they shouldn’t do it, guess what they are going to do? Little kids always try to be bad and rebelious. They will do the oppisite of whatever you tell them to do. Saying that kids learn how to swear from TV or music is also stupid. You don’t hear kids start using scientific terms after watching a Bill Nye episode, and you shouldn’t hear kids swearing after listening to a 50 Cent song. But you do, any it’s because of bullshit parents who fuck up their kids by telling the kid that it’s bad.

If you want your kid to be like McKay Hatch go right ahead. You might as well forget about you ever having grandchildren. Oh, by the way if you don’t like my swearing go join the No Cussing Club, I will even link you. http://www.nocussing.com Give me hell.

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