A lot of people like nostalgia, it brings back a lot of great memories of a person’s childhood and how they spent their time. Unfortunately some people seem to be stuck in that time.

Take the game Goldeneye for the N64. Growing up that game was so original and fresh, there was nothing else like it before. I remember playing that game with my friends for hours on end. It is now 10 years since that and people still say Goldeneye is awesome. No faggot, Goldeneye WAS awesome. Since that time games have gotten so much better. I recently went back and played Goldeneye. That game is impossible to play at 15 frames per second and with such shitty controls.

Another thing I hate about nostalgia is how the whole emo/scene culture seems to embrace it even though they might not have been alive when the phenomena was alive. I remember hearing 15 year olds talk about how awesome the NES was and how games today suck compared to it. Fuck you, you weren’t alive wen the NES came out, SNES maybe but I doubt you were playing games at 2 years old.

Next thing is when people say crap like “today’s bands suck, why can’t they be like N-Sync?” Fuck you, N-sync sucked and so do today’s pop bands. Face it fags, you like anything you’re told to like. These bands are not as good as you remember them, if they were any good they would still be around. Faggots.

So in short, memories are fun to have but having an orgasm about the past is gay.

Everyone loves cheap furniture that is both stylish and practical. Ikea is the best place to go if you want something like this. But those fucking Swedes over at Ikea design more than furniture. They turned their whole store into a fucking maze. Say you go in and you want to buy a bookshelf, you enter the store, have to go up the escalator, and find what you are looking for. You then write down the order number of that bookshelf and you continue walking around the maze because you can’t come back the way you back in, no there’s no stairs just an up escalator. So you continue walking all the way to the end of the “display” area of Ikea and make it to the down escalator. There, you have to find the shelf where your product is, it’s not that hard usually. But when you do find it guess what? You have to take that bookshelf from the fucking shelf. Such a thing can be pretty hard if trying to do it yourself. So you go around and try to ask the staff for assistance. No, the fucking people working there are little blonde women who just stand there and look pretty. “I will get someone to help you.” God, how about the people who can’t lift heavy objects work in the display room and the people who can work in the inventory, NOT THE OTHER FUCKING WAY AROUND.

The reason for the maze and mass confusion of Ikea is for you to see EVERYTHING the store has. It’s great marketing really. It’s like strapping someone down to a chair Clockwork Orange style and forcing them to watch Vince Shlomi sell them extra absorbent towels. But sometimes I wonder what would happen to Ikea in event of a fire, do they even have fire exits or will people be forced to maneuver the maze in a record speed?

So a while ago Ashton Kutcher had a race with CNN on who could get 1 million people following them on Twitter first. Ashton won this race and like in Punkd was a total douchefag about it. Fuck you Ashton! Continuing this story, his followers said the following statement “this just shows how a single man can beat a large media company.” Wait, Ashton Kutcher isn’t a regular fucking person, he’s a celebrity and he owes the media for making him popular. A regular person would never be able to beat CNN.

Let me explain a little on why he won. I got ads on Facebook to add him, and little girls want to suck his dick so they follow him on Twitter. Ashton is way more appealing to the social networking user base than CNN. What’s better, having 1 million followers on Twitter or having millions of people watching your channel a day. Yeah, fuck you Ashton. 

This is a true story, it happened to me a while ago. I was at an intersection coming back from McDonalds, so I was stopped at a red light. The light turned green and right then some woman behind me started flipping out and honking her horn. I thought to myself, “Holy shit, I am going.” The thing was, I was moving forward the whole time she was honking.

Anyways, so after I make the left turn the woman is still driving behind me. At this point I decided to fuck with her, so I started going 40 in a 60 zone. That’s when she started flailing her arms around and yelling at me. I laughed, mission accomplished.

So the moral of the story is, don’t honk your horn just because I didn’t slam my gas pedal. I seriously don’t understand this woman, it’s not like I can magically teleport when the light turns green. Stupid woman.

Yet another post about the whole Fuck My Life issue. This one is more about the part where people bitch about their parents. Yes, the world is filled with kids who hate their parents for some fucking stupid reason. These people have pretty much perfect lives but then instantly hate their parents for the smallest thing. Unless your parents are raping you in the ass in the cellar then you don’t fucking have a problem with your life. God sure your parents could piss you off from time to time but that is no reason to hate them.

Do you think that living alone will make your life any better? Yeah good luck paying for rent, food, cable, internet, and phones all by yourself while you are still in high school. God, I hate how kids think living alone is the most glamorous thing ever. Sure it might be fun for a weekend to throw a party, but once your money runs out you will really feel how much it would suck. Worst is the kids who live close to their college and decide to live on res because of the awesome parties. Yeah fag, enjoy paying 5 thousand a year for that.

As the comic states, most of the times a kid hates their parents because they won’t allow the kid to drink. So I say, HEY KID, HEY! BE THE LEGAL AGE!