Fuck Oprah. Fuck her and her millions of fans. I was going through the richest people list a while back ago and I saw Oprah there. I was like why the fuck is she so fucking popular. Then I heard people saying “Oprah is the housewives best friend.” So I understood everything suddenly. Oprah is some talk show host which poisons parents minds with paranoia and feminist theories. Let me start.

I’ve only ever watched one episode of Oprah in my life, this was the famous one about the child molesters and over 9,000 penises raping children. It had to deal with how child pornography spreads on the internet and how often it happens. Oprah then scares a bunch of parents into believing that their child is going to be raped so then the parents become over protective and watch their child like a hawk. Fuck, you’re child is probably not going to get raped. Your child has a larger chance of getting run over by a car than raped. Besides, most of the time child pornography comes from the parent of the child anyways.

Next I read that Oprah started some all girls school in South Africa. To apparently give girls an opportunity to make a difference in the world. Fuck you Oprah, guys can make a difference too, why exclude them? Oprah then later went on to say that she was inspired to build this school because of her “disadvantaged background.” Yeah Oprah, being a billionaire is really a disadvantage.  I guess getting raped at the age of 9 and getting pregnant at 14 really sucks. However the getting pregnant was your fault. Your life was bad like the African’s life.

Oprah is a media whore, nothing more. She sells her thoughts as facts, and wives go crazy over her every word. So do what Oprah did; stick over 9,000 penises into your ass.

So we are in this whole eco-fad which is sweeping the nation. A part of this eco-fad is to eat ORGANIC FOODS. Yeah, apparently eating an apple isn’t healthy anymore and you have to eat an organic apple in order to keep the doctor away. The problem here this organic apple is 2 dollars more expensive than a normal one. What’s the difference? It’s basically the organic food sticker.

To be an organic food, the food had to be grown without the use of pesticides or any other chemicals or preservatives. So you pay 2 bucks more for an apple that will rot faster than any other one. People seem to think that pesticides are so harmful to you that you should avoid them at all costs. Bullshit, I don’t eat organic food and I still alive. Sure, I am not going to go inhale some pesticide, that would be pretty stupid. But pesticides prevent my food from being eaten by insects, so what’s the harm in that? I’d much rather have a controlled environment where each apple is as good as the last one instead of having a bunch of fucking wild cards.

So to the people who buy organic food, why the hell do you pay extra for something that isn’t as healthy as you think it is?

So you are walking around in the mall when you see some 13 year old kid sliding around on his shoes. Thats when you take a closer look at it and you notice that he has wheels on his shoes. You instantly rage and want to push him down the stairs, or at least I do. Yes it seems that rather than walking these kids would rather wear their wheelie shoes. Fuck that, if rollerblading or biking is banned from the mall then wheelie shoes should be too. All these kids do is crash into things or people anyways.

Speaking of kids at the mall, keep your kids on a fucking leash, I am tired of a kid running in front of me and me walking into them. It’s only a second of my time wasted but then the mom yells at me for walking into their kid. Oh and tell your kids to stop playing in the parking lot. It’s dangerous.

So in Toronto there is this huge city union strike which some major services are effected.  Garbage pickup and water treatment seem to be the biggest issue. No one in Toronto has garbage pickup because some over paid fucks don’t have enough benefits at work. Are you fucking kidding me? They make like 28 dollars an hour and complain that their sick days aren’t transferable. Many people would gladly take your job without the extra benefits you want. That is if taking there job was possible, no because of the union shit they can’t mass fire people. Fucking unions, they cause nothing but trouble.

Allow me to refresh your memory on the last major strike. The Teacher Assistants in York University. They go on strike and all the students are suddenly out of an education. Eventually there was a back to work legislature. But it took a long time. These students then had their whole school year fucked, they either to go summer school. Faggots.

So last week the world went apeshit over one man dying. In case you were really out of it and just woke up from a coma, Michael Jackson died! How could such a thing happen, he was one of the most popular people EVER. It’s simple really, he was 50 and had a heart attack. Not totally uncommon to die at the age of 50, why, even Billy Mays died at that age. But this isn’t about Michael Jackson’s tragic loss, this is about faggots who mourn his death.

Michael Jackson was a great musician, he was the “King of Pop” and had millions of fans around the world. He sold millions of albums and to make a long story short he is way more popular than you are ever going to be. At the end of his career he faced some terrible media press. The whole insane child molester thing cost him millions of dollars and the world shut him out due to these allegations. Fair enough, it’s your choice whether you want to respect the man or not.

Now that he died everyone seems to have forgotten the finger that they pointed at Michael the few years ago. All the jokes and all the hate didn’t matter anymore. The man was dead and everyone rushed out and bought his CDs so that they could sit back and remember his voice, and his revolutionary music. Excuse me what the fuck? Make up your mind, first you accuse him of being a pedophile then he dies and suddenly this death is tragic? Make up your fucking mind.

What do I think of this? MJ reached the height of his career a long time ago, since then it was just a long decline into retirement. It sucks that he died but everyone’s time comes eventually. I was never a fan of MJ so his death doesn’t affect me and it shouldn’t affect you too unless you are a hardcore MJ fan. You might say, “but I am a fan!” and I say, no, you just like 2 of his songs, you are not a fan.