There’s a new “original” reality show coming to Toronto, it’s called Lakeshore. It follows a group of twenty-somethings as they venture into parties and clubs. We get to see them prance around with hair gel, creatine, and tanning oil. Oh yeah, the ultimate lifestyle of today’s generation.

To get away from being called a total Jersey Shore copy, the producers have made the cast multicultural instead of being all Italians. However that doesn’t really change anything: everyone will still look the same, and speak with the same slang. What’s the point of marketing this as a multicultural show?

The cast of it isn’t all that bright either. It’s a bunch of sluts trying to get their 5 minutes of fame. People say “any publicity is good publicity,” but once you start acting like a slut and getting known for it, then that’s what people are going to judge you. You can deny it and say “I’m a classy girl” but if you get into a hot tub with 10 naked guys then come on, that class goes away.

Since the show doesn’t exist yet I can’t really write more. If this show does come into fruition then I will write more.

So last week I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Great movie! However when I got home I saw a review that filled me with rage! It seems that some professional reviewer decided to call it “Twilight for boys.”

Well MaryAnn Johanson, explain why I wasn’t horny watching Scott Pilgrim. Twilight was written for women, by a woman. Instead of writing a book for everyone, she wrote a book for her own twisted fantasy of vampire sex. Scott Pilgrim was written for everybody: fans of video games, fans of music, and even fans of Toronto. When I went to the midnight screening there were tons of chicks dressed up as Ramona or Kim, there were also groups of girls and it wasn’t like they were tricked into seeing it by their boyfriends.

Another review by Wired called it “Harry Potter for hipsters.” On the contrary, both the film and game have an anti-hipster stance. Basically saying, you kill hipsters; hipsters are the enemy. The movie is just a story about how some guy wants to date a chick, and has to “prove himself” to do it.

A note to these “professional” reviewers: stop trying to compare the movies to others. Instead of saying stupid shit such as “twilight for boys” or “hipster’s Harry Potter” you can easily say. “It’s a movie meant for a different generation.” I would not get pissed off if the reviewer said that, because it would make sense.

“Why do other companies bother making phones, the iPhone is the easiest one to use.”

That’s something I heard the other day, and I did not take too kindly to it. It came from some person who probably never used any other phone for an extended period of time. Agreed, the iPhone is pretty easy to use. All I do is go to the app store, download an app, it shows up on my home screen and tap it to open it. But last time I checked, I can do the same thing on my Windows Mobile, or Android. Making phone calls and changing settings are all pretty much similar as well. So what does it make this guy think that the iPhone so superior?

To answer that question let me quote Microsoft “the computer that’s easiest to use is typically the one you already know how to use.” Which is totally true: If you use an iPhone all your life then using some other phone will be some strange and unfamiliar experience. There are some differences between the phones, but by no means does it make the phone confusing and stupid. Whenever you move from one thing you’re accustomed to, to another things might be a little off, but better. Say you’re moving up from a Honda Civic to some Ford Mustang, you’re going to have to get used to the changes, but once you do you can enjoy the full benefits the other product offers.

Even if you love your iPhone, you have to admire other companies. Competition drives innovation and helps advance technology. Do you really think that the iPhone would have copy and paste, MMS, LED flash, and a high resolution screen if it wasn’t for other phones? No competition also means that companies can charge whatever the hell they want. This makes it worse for the consumer, why the hell would you want a monopoly? It’s bad for everyone except the company itself.

So go ahead, love your iPhone. But don’t hate competition, they’re your best friend.

So… iPhone 4 hit up Canada. Yeah, I picked one up. It’s a nice little device  and I’m having a blast with it but there is just one problem… Getting it was a pain in the fucking ass. I have waited in lines before and quite frequently they are painless. In fact, most lines are better than they actually appear to be. “Your wait time from this point is 60 minutes” says the sign at Canada’s Wonderland, yet 20 minutes later we are somehow on the ride. On hold for the credit card company and it says estimated wait time if 45 minutes, and eight minutes later I’m on the phone with someone I can hardly understand bitching about my statement. It’s beautiful because you are getting more than what you expected, you are actually pleased…

But what about the Apple line. Showing up early as fuck in the morning to get the jump on the line was apparently an idea shared by many. Estimates put about anywhere from 400 to 500 people in front of us at the most. You figure you have most of the store trying to sell this product, you could easily move through this line in a couple of hours. Oh, but this is using common sense. What ended up happening was a horror story.

Before the mall opened, the line was humming along at a snails pace. Slow, but we were making progress. Everyone started making introducing ourselves. Laptops were in abundance and Youtube’s data traffic was never higher. It was the greatest part of any line. Eventually the line stopped. It stopped period. It was not moving at all.

I went to see what was up, and asked the Apple rep what was going on. The Rogers servers were down, which is understandable due to the nature of the day. “But Nick, why was the line not moving if Bell and Telus were still able to activate phones?” Great fucking question, and it is one I asked. I was told that it was unfair to the Rogers customers if anyone else could get a phone while they were waiting, so in the spirit of fairness  we must all wait for our turn. It was at this time everyone was pissed, so free water was given out.

At this point of the line, most peoples laptops had already died out, so human interaction was necessary to fight off insanity. Problem is a bunch of fat Apple loving nerds arn’t the best company to keep for long durations, so people started taking breaks away from the line. Going off at 30 minutes or so at a time to get food. I heard a group of guys actually went off and saw a movie while a friend held their spots. How this sort of thing could happen, well, when a line doesn’t move for two and a half hours at a time people can go dick around forever and come back like nothing happened.

Rogers would constantly go down throughout the day, and line’s would stop. People would crowd around the front of the store, yelling for a solution. The most common, and sensible solution, was to give out a voucher to the Rogers people, guaranteeing them a phone but telling them to come the fuck back when the servers arn’t corked. An Apple employee actually said this was “illegal” due to “copyright law” and that if we were unhappy with it we should “contact our MP.” People were pretty pissed off.

Now, about 15 hours in we were told the store was closing, and they were handing out vouchers for people to come back the next day. What the FUCK?! We were not just told that it was illegal to do this, and in fact this solution would have solved all the problems. We went back the next day and walked out with a phone in ten minutes. Why? People could come at their leisure instead of waiting the hell in line to get their phone, thus no need to line up to guarantee themselves a fucking phone.

The whole experience sucked fucking dick. 15 hours for a piece of paper telling us to dick off cause the management couldn’t handle basic human beings properly. In my picture I show a picture of the line breaking off in weird, convoluted ways. That is exactly what the fuck happened. At one point we were standing IN FRONT of the Apple store walking AWAY from it to get closer to our phones. Then we stopped for three hours cause Rogers shat the bed. Why the fuck are activations, a process which takes significantly longer than buying a piece of hardware, in the same line as anyone else. Could you imagine going to fill up your tank of gas, and having to wait while people get their engines services? It would be complete horseshit. Yet 30 minute credit check and activations are piled in with hardware sales because they perceived it to be the same. It’s not the fucking same, it’s a piece of technology compared to negotiating a contract. A FUCKING CONTRACT.

What sucks is while we were all waiting in line for the iPhone and getting fucked over, normal customers were going in and walking out with Mac’s and iPods. Apparently, when the store “opened” they only had three people dealing with phones and the rest of the Macsperts were standing around looking important or helping give tutorials on how to Google on Safari.

I don’t know what blows more, the fact that a high tech, top end consumer and business electronics company can’t simply manage a line of people on their fourth iteration of the product, or that I was in line and wasted a fucking day of my life being angry with other angry people. Sure, it was nice to get off my fat ass and feel like I belong to some sort of community, but lets be honest, it was a waste of everyones time. I’m just shocked at the whole event.

Seriously, how do you fuck up a line?

There seems to be a lot of magic in the air. By which I mean the Apple Magic Trackpad that has been released recently. Apple is no stranger in the touch interface world: the iPhone and iPad has made them millions!

But it seems that Apple has been whoring out the technology. Last year we saw the release of the Magic Mouse, being both a mouse and a miniature trackpad. Now Apple has made a giant laptop trackpad calling it “the first one ever for OSX” even though Wacom has been making the Bamboo tablets for a while now.

Regardless of whatever Apple releases you have thousands of fanboys run out and buy everything that’s made by Apple. There’s no exception this time, these Macfags boast how much better than a mouse it is. Newsflash Macfags, there’s a reason why most people plug a mouse into their laptop instead of using the track pad. The mouse is faster, has more precision, and has more freedom – your canvas is as big as your desk – so why would anyone use a trackpad. In all honesty, it’s fun. Zooming in with your fingers can be quite nice, you can slide a window by sliding your finger, but god knows it can’t replace everything.

I’m really surprised Apple hasn’t released a touchscreen version of the iMac or Macbook yet. That way you can directly touch the screen instead of moving a cursor.

Also, learn to embrace pen input.