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So every year Apple releases a new version of some iPod. This year they released the next iPod Shuffle. It is now a 1.8″ x 0.7″ piece of shit. How could Apple possibly make a MP3 player so small though?

It’s simple, instead of having the controls on the actual player itself Apple chose to put the controls on the upper part of the earphones. Want to use better headphones? Sorry, you can’t do that without the help of an adapter. Adding to this the controls on the phones aren’t easy to use at all. To play you press the center button once, next track is the centre button twice, and previous track is the centre button thrice. Oh, and believe me, the controls are even worse because they don’t function the way they are supposed to. I pressed the centre button, and the volume was going up. Also when the controls are exposed to water or moisture then it starts doing random things like turning the volume up. If you take it to the gym and start working out then your volume will adjust itself on MAX.

Now, I am not one of those people that says that the shuffle needs a screen, or it’s stupid not to have one. I hardly use the screen on my MP3 player, so why waste battery? But to combat the absence of a screen Apple chose to add a feature called “Voice Over.” If you hold down the centre button eventually you will hear the track name on your headphones. Here’s what I have to say, you put the song on your iPod, wouldn’t you know what the song was anyways? I can listen to 30 seconds of any song my computer and I will tell you what song is what. Now if there is an odd chance that I do not know that the song is why the fuck would I interrupt to with some fucked up voice over to find out what it was called?

Now, with the absence of a screen or controls I would expect amazing battery life. Nope, you only get 10 hours. You get triple that with the iPod Touch. That’s the problem when Apple designs a product with style in mind over performance, it ends up to be piece of total shit. Would that extra inch for a larger battery really make the iPod Shuffle that much worse?  Hell, at least if it was bigger I wouldn’t need to worry about accidentally swallowing  it. I kid you not, this iPod Shuffle is fucking tiny.