Today is the day Macfags were waiting for. Apple finally announcing what their secret new product is. It’s called the iPad.

iPad, more important than Haiti

iPad, funny name isn’t it. Kind of makes you think of a pad, you know for periods. In fact, MadTV did a sketch about this already. So getting around the horrible name we can move on to the design of it. Apple clearly didn’t spend a lot of time on this one. It looks like they just stretched an iPhone. Also, please note the large black frame. How large is it? Let’s do some calculations.

 Area of whole phone: 7.47 x 9.56 = 71.4132
Area of screen: 5.67 x 7.86= 44.5662
Area of phone – area of screen = 25.842 / area of whole phone
~ 35% of the phone is the black frame.

My eyes, I’m seeing doubles.

Before announcing the iPad, Apple showed a picture of a missing gap between the phone and the laptop. What could fill this gap? Maybe a regular fucking tablet computer? How about the Newton you guys forgot about? Could the missing link be a netbook? No those things are slow with a poor display, and PC software. When Apple went into announcing the specs of the iPad, I couldn’t help but laugh. “The slow netbook” was facing off against a fucking 1ghz A4 processor. Great job there Apple, my 1.8ghz Atom is so much slower than your 1ghz. Furthermore the aspect ratio on it is a 4:3 1024×768. So much for playing YoutubeHD in 720 (1280×720).

Netbooks are slow. iPad is slower.
Image from Engadget

Apple claimed to be the number 1 mobile company in the world. According to Apple, China must be on another fucking planet. They claimed to have beat Sony and Samsung in the mobile industry. For some reason I find that hard to believe. In cellphone sales alone I would agree, but Apple decided to include laptops, mp3 players in there too. Sony has what? Phones, PSP, ebook readers, mp3 players, laptops… Apple also said “And by revenue… it’s even bigger than Nokia.” Which translates into one thing: Apple crap is fucking expensive.

As soon as Apple showed off the book store I quickly went over to Amazon to compare prices. A book called “True Compass: A Memoir” sells for $11.99 on the Amazon store while on the iBook store, it sells for $14.99. Personally I don’t get why Apple doesn’t release a iBook app on the iPhone and not make people buy a brand new device to do that.

It’s a large improvement over the iPhone in some places, I can give it that much. A faster processor and larger screen res can really help out with functionality. You really saw it with the pop-up menus which looked good actually. The best thing about the iPad is the fact that it can support a physical keyboard. Dear god what an age we live in. However Apple still has its huge flaws. No Flash support and no multitasking. You think it’s new fucking 1ghz processor can handle that.

One huge problem I have with the thing is that it runs a modified version of the iPhone OS. On a screen that large and processor that good they could have done something a lot better. The home screen looks terrible, the icons are oddly spaced out. Running the old iPhone apps on the iPad look horrible. Either it’s stretched like mad, or you have an even larger black border. Something in the 85% area.

Check out that fucking icon spacing.

iPhone’s resolution compared to the iPad.
Image from Engadget

That’s when they showed the rip off of Halo. Apple, you used to have Bungie creating games for you. But then you decided LOL GAMES AREN’T IMPORTANT. And now Apple is really trying with the gaming market. They seem to be doing good…

No this game doesn’t look familiar at all…
Image from Engadget

Now with all this technology, you would assume Apple would put a massive price tag on it The iPhone 3GS without contract costs about $780CND here with Rogers so the iPad must be more right? Well to be honest, it’s a pretty fair price. $499 for the base model. $830 for the highest end. While the price point isn’t low like a netbook, it is affordable. But I guess price doesn’t matter to Macfags, they’ll buy anything with the Apple logo on it.

Don’t give me bullshit how it costs $299

I’ve recently read an article on CNN talking about Macfags. Below are some excerpts:

 Xavier Yaffar says he will buy it. Whatever the cost.
Big surprise there…

“I don’t even have to look at it,” the 48-year-old said.
I’m sure the design team at Apple will be thrilled to hear that they don’t have to work hard for you to buy their crap.

“I bought the iPod when it was announced. I didn’t know what it was going to do when I bought it,”
You bought something without knowing what it does?

Greenbaum met his husband at an Apple fan group in the mid-90s. When they started dating, the couple hung out in Mac computer labs together
Now that’s what I call a Macfag!

“It’s a part of your identity,” he said. “People are going to recognize you more by the computer you use and the phone you carry than by the car you drive.”
So you will isolate everyone that doesn’t have a Mac right?

So that’s about it for this week. Be sure to click all the links in the article for more lols.

And gaymen.