I’ve stopped caring so much about Nintendo products, just got a Wii a few months ago, I haven’t really played my DS since I bought it, and my purchase of the 3DS was very regretful. Now, Nintendo is bringing out the Wii U, another console with another gimmick. I’ve already bitched about the Wii and motion controllers before, so I will skip that part.

Nintendo DS:

So I bought the DSlite when that came out, it was pretty okay, but there were never any games for it that were a must have. I’ve passed up a couple of Zeldas and Pokemons but eventually I decided to give the DS another go, playing Pokemon Black.

I’ve noticed how horrible the DS is to use for gaming. The bottom screen was unused for the beginning of the game (being used only during battles) but then the player unlocks some online game tracker thing, making the bottom screen display a bunch of pointless crap for most of the time. Since I didn’t finish the game yet the online part of the game was pointless and I would much rather have the main menu available at all times. Sadly, that is not the case, and you are forced to pause the game if you want to use any items, or HMs.

So there’s an example of a useless bottom screen. Now here’s an example of an overused screen. Zelda: Phantom Hourglass/Spirit Tracks. Oh god how I hated playing this game. Just the fact that I had to hold the DS with one hand the entire time I played this game pissed the hell out of me (my hand was tired, I ended up having to place my DS on a table in order to play.) To move, you point in the direction you want to move, to roll, you scribble in the direction you want to move, to attack, you tap what you want to kill. Basically, the whole game involves touching that tiny screen. And with all this touching around, I ended up randomly doing things that I didn’t want to do. If I was playing this on an iPhone things wouldn’t be so bad, as the iPhone has no buttons, but the DS does, and it shocks me that the entire game can be played without pressing any buttons. Also, Nintendo, please, NEVER ASK ME TO YELL INTO MY DS EVER AGAIN.

Now, I tried playing Pokemon online, however back when the DSlite came out, Nintendo didn’t think that anyone would need WPA2 encryption for their wifi. While this could probably be fixed with a software update, Nintendo didn’t think that this was necessary either, what a shame.

Nintendo 3DS:

I will start off where I left off with the DS: software updates. Fortunately Nintendo added software updates to the DS but the problem is the option is so painfully hidden that I actually had to Google how to get to it.

But anyways, while the 3DS was not a first day purchase for me it was still within the launch window, I didn’t really want it, the price was high (not anymore) the system looked weird and came in weird colours (even the black one has a few different shades of black,) However, there was one game that forced me to get the system. Ocarina of Time. Yes, the game I loved when I was a kid game back in slightly higher definition, and that’s the problem. The commercial showed some nice prerendered cutscenes, but sadly, they are not part of the actual game. If this game came out on the upcoming Wii U it would be much, much better. Actual HD graphics, good controls, and something that I can play on a 50” TV.

While playing the 3DS I’ve noticed a huge flaw in the whole glasses-less 3D concept. You have to look at it at a certain angle to get it to work. So, if it’s a mobile device that means the angle is constantly changing. Furthermore, the 3DS has accelerometers and gyroscopes and those ACTUALLY make you move the device. Meaning if you want to shoot your slingshot in Zelda, you will instantly lose that 3D effect and start seeing double images.

Wii U:

Yet again Nintendo proves that all they can market, is a gimmick. The DS had two needless screens, the Wii had all that waggling, and the 3DS had that horrible portable 3D crap. Now, Nintendo saw the massive popularity of the iPad and thought to themselves “this is a good idea for gaming.” So they created a 10” controller, which could double as a food tray, and they tried showing how it could be used to play games. The problem? They didn’t actually show any REAL games.

The first problem with this thing is the size of it, my god it’s bigger than the original Xbox controller. It’s bigger than a PS2, and they expect you to wave that thing around. Basically, this thing is going to be your lap the entire time giving you carpel tunnel.

The device is so pointless Nintendo even showed it off for themselves, if games can be streamed over to the device without relying on a TV, that means that the screen on the Wii Pad is optional, if it’s optional, then it’s just a gimmick. Apparently, all old Wii controllers will still work with the Wii U, making the question even more confusing. How many alternate ways of playing the game will there be? If you play a shooter, what will you have to do? Will you have to waggle a Wiimote or will you have to waggle a Wii Pad? It’s all so confusing adding in ANOTHER controller. Nintendo already has the Wiimote, the Balance Board, the nunchuck, the classic controller, the Gamecube controller, and all that plastic crap.

The worst thing about it is that Nintendo stated that only one Wii Pad would work per Wii U. Meaning that all your friends/siblings will be fighting over who gets the cool controller. Honestly, Nintendo has been trying this concept forever. We all remember the Gameboy Advance with the Gamecube link cable. However, with the mobile and wireless technology we have today, why can’t the 3DS just double as the Wii Pad? That way 4 people can all play the same game without screen looking or whatever.

Overall:

It seems like Nintendo is making too many quick decisions lately. People ate up the Wii so much, but the Wii quickly became just another thing collecting dust. Parents played their Wii Sports and WiiFit, but what then? Will people be fooled again? Will the magic of the Wii still be there? We are yet to see the next Xbox or the next Playstation, and those can just blow the Wii U out of the water completely. Sony’s already got the Vita, and no doubt that’s going to interface with the PS4. Microsoft is working on the whole Kinect/Windows 8 thing and without a doubt the next Xbox will support Kinect. The only question is, what else is over the corner?

I’m sure most of you heard of Geohot, but in case you haven’t here is a little back story. Geohot is a hacker famous for hacking the iPhone, PSP, and now the PS3. Because of him publishing the hack online and documenting how to do it yourself Sony decided to pursue legal action. Sony quickly went after all those responsible in the matter. Geohot defended his actions and tried to stand up for freedom. He claims his intentions were not to open the doors to piracy.

Whether the piracy thing is true or not, he still opened the doors. Within hours the torrent website were flooded with “back-up” PS3 games free for anyone to download. Geohot’s attempt to free the PS3 was only used by pirates, because in all honesty, it’s not about the “homebrew” anymore. For the PSP it made some sense, as that is a mobile device and you want to use it for as many things as you can. I’ll admit, I had a modded PSP for a bit, and I used it to play SNES roms. But would I want to do the same thing on a PS3, nope. If I am at home I have far more devices that can do the same things with far less effort. Why should I spend an hour hacking my PS3 when I can spend 20 seconds downloading an emulator on my PC?

But what about the Linux functionality that Sony dropped? Geohot’s exploit brings it back. While the OtherOS functionality in the PS3 is a much missed item from various users, I personally never found a use for it. Again, why should I bother trying to manipulate the PS3 to do OtherOS when I have a perfect computer right beside it? Regardless of whether I used it or not, some people did so I suppose it was a loss for them. I do agree that Sony shouldn’t have removed it. But the only reason that they did in fact remove it was because of Geohot’s previous exploit which used the OtherOS functionality to run arbitrary code. Thanks Geohot.

The real intentions of Geohot can be a bit confusing. After he published his exploit he tried getting Sony to hire him (unconfirmed) , well fat chance there. If you truly wished to get hired by Sony you should have contacted them with the details of the exploit BEFORE you published it. Many hackers get credited or employed due to finding exploits. Every time Apple puts out a security update they credit to whoever found the exploit.

What the hell where you trying to do man? If you were an ethical hacker you’d keep silent about this whole thing. If you were rebellious you would have released the code without your whole “anti-pirate” attitude. Face it, you knew that people will exploit your code to pirate games. You’re a hacker for Christ’s sake. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that coming!

While I do not agree with all of Sony’s decisions about the PS3 (such as removing PS2 compatibility) Ido not in any way support what Geohot has done. He don’t offer any kind of fix, and instead he just create more of a problem.

So the other day I picked up a copy of Halo: Reach and I started playing through it. It was a pretty good game with some minor issues. After I completed it I decided to give online a shot only to discover that it was filled with thousands of little kids yelling at me for “getting their team killed.” Pardon me son, I have other things to do during the day than play Halo all day. But after a few rounds I started to get a hang of the game and started doing pretty good. I stopped for a few days and decided to play some online again. This time I sucked even more. It’s like the same 13 year olds were trash talking me again. Again I asked “don’t you have anything better to do all day?”

Playing games is fun and all, but these people spend all their time playing a single game. But it’s not like they enjoy the whole game, they exclusively play online. I was told that I was crazy for not playing Modern Warfare 2 online. Well sorry, I have a plethora of other games to play instead.

Online games don’t immerse me at the same level as a single player campaign. The single player has a deep and rich narrative which brings the player into the whole experience. During online games, your enjoyment relies on others. If you’re playing against 12 year olds in Call of Duty you’ll most likely have a pretty frustrating experience. But that’s not the game fault, it’s the fault of other players.

Am I saying that online games suck? No, it’s just that the single player experience is also really rich and shouldn’t be ignored. All games do not need a forced online mode. Just look at Metal Gear Solid 4, the online in that game was totally not needed. It was also crippled by the horrible Konami ID system. It just seems like too much people focus religiously on online games, and just they play Halo or Call of Duty all day. PROTIP: There are other games out there, give them a shot!

So the other day I read some article about how Microsoft’s Kinect and Sony’s Move are coming out 6 months too early. This had to do with the amount of games available at launch. It seemed like the author wanted to have 30 games to play on launch. Oh heaven forbid that there are a few bad games on launch.

Both Sony and Microsoft did a good job of highlighting the games that will be using the technology. Some of which were playable on the show floor while others were not. It seemed that the author didn’t do his research, when he didn’t see the games on the show floor he assumed they don’t exist.

Besides, why would you need an assload of games on launch anyways? Chances are you’re going to buy one and play it for a couple of weeks and then move on to a second game.

So because of my Heavy Rain addiction I chose to do this weeks post on shitty games I’ve played in the past few years.

Assassins Creed
When I first heard of this game I thought it looked and sounded amazing. A parkour style gameplay, running around on rooftops and killing people. The promise was there and it was delivered, but I never knew that too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Doing the same thing over and over again got really boring really quickly. The game did not offer a fast travel system, and the amount of ways to kill people were very limited. This game quickly went on my shelf to collect dust and never be played again.

FarCry 2:
Another game that promised a lot and delivered it, but it wasn’t exactly the best thing in the world. It had a large open world with tons of scenery but it was all just for show. Being in the forests I expected lots of cover and being able to sneak up on enemies. I never got that, instead the enemies always knew where I was, and were shooting me from god knows where. Getting from point A to point B took forever, and when you finally got there, you died and had to do the whole thing all over again. And often when I was told to go to point B I died before I even got there. Here’s a tip, don’t make getting to the mission, a part of the mission.

Socom Confrontation:
Bugs, glitches, cheating, dare I say more?