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Ah I love coffee, I could drink it every day for the rest of my life. Back when I went to US for a week my coffee addiction kicked the shit out of me. For you see, here in Canada we have a Tim Hortons at every street corner. It’s awesome, I pay 2 Canadian dollars and I get the largest coffee they have. I go to Starbucks and I have to fork out nearly 5 dollars. So I had a week off from coffee, and it wasn’t too pleasant.

Aside from Starbucks being expensive as fuck, there are other reasons why it sucks nut sacks: Macfags. Yes, it seems hipsters think sitting around in a coffee shop, on their Macs drinking coffee is so cool. There are usually clusters of them, at every Starbucks. So what do these Macfags do? They sit around drinking the same coffee for ever, talk about some book they probably never read, and listen to the strange Starbucks CDs to support “indie” artists. These hipsters also think they are doing some change in the world because “Starbucks doesn’t use slave labour.”  I don’t know if these people are trying to be mature by drinking coffee but I think they do. Here’s a tip: drinking coffee does not make you mature. Don’t believe me on this whole Macfaggotry at Starbucks deal? Apple teamed up with Starbucks to give iPod/iPhone users free WiFi.

Oh, I am not done complaining about Starbucks yet. I actually bought coffee from there once, I was treated with some of the worst service ever. I go there and I ask for a “Large Mocha” and the guy looks at me like I was fucking retarded. He guy didn’t know what I wanted. It later turned out that I should have said “grande cafe mocha.”  Oh, because that is a HUGE difference. I paid the 5 bucks and left the store.

Another point about Starbucks that drives me nuts is the whole “our coffee was not made by slaves.” I couldn’t care less how it was made. I just want to fucking drink it. Face it, Starbucks coffee is just more expensive because of the name. And just like Apple, they can get away with it because hipsters will still buy it. Starbucks makes a fortune selling hipsters coffee.

Now Tim Hortons? It has a different way of attracting people. There are specific groups that go to different Tim Hortons. There is a Tim Hortons that Ricers like to go to. There is a Tim Hortons Blacks like to go to and there is a Tim Hortons that factory workers like to go to. But still Tim Hortons has some of the best coffee, for some of the lowest prices.

So there you have it, Macfags buy anything that is labeled as “premium” and “unique.” By the way, here is the link to the whole Starbucks helps the community crap. http://www.starbucks.ca/en-ca/_Social+Responsibility/

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So it’s Earth Hour and hipsters everyone are turning off their lights and trying to save the environment. Woohoo, turning off your lights makes a huge impact. I do that everyday, I sit in my dark room and listen to music. Now what gets me the most is the ad I’ve seen on the TTC for it. “The one day when sitting in a dark room alone isn’t creepy.” Now I have no idea how the meant us to interpret this, either they meant it in a horror movie type of deal or they meant it in a person with no friends.

If it is the second choice they kind of have their head up their own ass. If I am eco friendly and turn off my lights everyday then I am creepy? Awesome, job there. I guess I am only cool if I be eco-friendly on Earth Hour. If you are participating in this crap I hope you have fun twittering. After all, on the website it tells you to document the event as it is happening. So I will do that:

8:30PM: Lights are off, have nothing to do except browse the internet.
9:00PM: Got a craving for coffee, made some. Shit tastes good in the dark.
9:30PM: Lights are off, have nothing to do expect browse the internet.

So what did I learn today? For the first time ever sitting in a room without the lights on means I am a hipster. I feel so dirty.

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So here’s  my story, I was sitting around and watching the TV. All I see is a commercial for a Mac, not the first time I seen one, but this is the first one where they don’t talk about what the computer can do itself. Instead of saying that it’s better than Windows, Apple went out and said how green it is. The laptop is made from 100% recyclable material, contains no toxic chemicals, and can run on the power of 1/3rd of a light bulb. First of all, the light bulb think is a fucking lie, if it was true than the Mac in theory could have 20+ hours of battery life. That is not the case. Secondly, I don’t care if my computer is recyclable, but I rather care about how it performs.

 You sold me Apple, your target audience is clearly hipsters. At least on the plus side, you can recycle the Mac after buying a new one next year.

So the other month I was feeling like a rebellious teen so I decided to watch Zeitgeist, both parts of it actually. Just as I figured it was some dude saying a bunch of bullshit about religion and 9/11. People who watch this claim “it helped them open their eyes.” Which leads me to believe that people are idiots. Religion is bullshit, I don’t need someone to point out reasons on why. Of course, if you believe in the bearded man that’s your problem. I am not a dictator and tell you what to believe, although I would love to be. A couple of Catholic people I talked to who watched Zeitgeist claimed they liked it, except for the Religion part. I bet it sucks to have your beliefs crushed, but that will happen when you are part of the largest religion in North America.

Zeitgeist also introduces a bunch of bullshit ideas that it wants to introduce. The first one is a money free society. While this might be a good idea to those in debt, to me it sounds like a bunch of bullshit. Would you work for the hell of it and not get paid? This today is known as volunteering, and it is pointless. Okay, so you got free energy from the sun to operate your machines, you still need someone to build those machines. There would always be a need for a human somewhere, and humans will not do any work without exchange for something. While some people might work for respect, others will refuse to work for that.

By far, the dumbest thing Zeigteist has introduced is a cross-continental lightrail system. Sure, a brilliant idea, however there’s no way you can build that. If you try and build it on the water, the weather will get in the way. You can’t build it on land because it won’t fucking fit. Underwater? Whirlpools exist, and they’ll fucking destroy your lightrail.

Sure, the ideas that Zeitgeist gives you might be brilliant if you are an artistic fuck or an environmentalist wacko. It is a failed idea obviously, that’s why it wasn’t introduced.

So a lot people I know are going to go see something called Nuit Blanche. It has something to do with buildings getting lit up in Toronto with some “artistic” images. As someone who is in the art field I should be interested in this, however this is not the case.

Toronto, is a beautiful city at night, the lights alone are quit appealing and Yonge-Dundas Square looks amazing at night. So here comes this art festival and people run straight to it for some reason. Some of them are probably going to get high and go see it. Some of them classify themselves as artists, so they have to go in order to get inspired.

“Oh shit, the light’s have been rearranged in the form of an eye, that’s fucking beautiful.” Fuck installation art, fuck modern art. It seems that even the biggest retard in the world can make something that everyone can enjoy. You can even add some bullshit description about it so it could be about racism. For example:

In school we had to do a art installation piece so some of my classmates decided to do a bunch of squares, circles, and triangles. When the time came to write a description they were confused. They just did it because it looks cool. I gave them the first thing that came into my head “it shows how everyone can live together, it doesn’t matter of their gender, race, or religion.” What came out of it? They got a good mark! For absolute bullshit.

Art will always be something about opinion, then there are going to be the people who are old fashioned and walk around in a museum saying “indeed.” However there’s going to be these new wave artists who think it’s artistic to throw a brush onto a canvas. I never classify any of the work I do as art, I just classify it was work.

Too Long Did Not Read: Newfags can’t do art.