So recently some of the people I know went off on a huge dramatic shitstorm because they had to make a simple decision. Either go to one event, or go to another person’s event. Pretty simple right? Not for them, they had to complain to person B that it’s not fair that his event is on the same day. Blah blah blah.

Apparently, having a choice to make is too hard for some people. A normal person would look at two things, and decide on which one they would prefer. God help them when these people have to go to McDonalds and place an order. The amount of choices to make will overwhelm them and they would have a nervous breakdown.

No, you aren’t being unfair by choosing one thing over another, you’re just making a fucking decision.

One thing I never understood (among thousands of other things) is when people tell me “all you do is waste your time on the computer.” Haha, pretty damn funny how I “waste” my time on it. It’s my hobby, and also how I make my money.
Sure, if I was a “cool guy” I’d be out at parties getting drunk and throwing beer kegs out of windows. But that’s not what I like. I could be like most people: come home from work, turn on the TV, and watch some news, sports, or whatever else is on. But guess what? I have a TV tuner on my computer, so I can watch TV, while surfing Facebook, while having a beer. It’s called multi fucking tasking. Hell yeah!

So recently there was some bullshit that was going down in the street of Toronto. A bunch of people (see: idiots) wanted the city to change the speed limit on ALL STREETS to 10km/h. Yes ten, that’s not a typo. The reason for this is Toronto seems to be having a problem with pedestrians and cyclists getting run over. All the blame goes to the driver of the car, always.

It starts off with pedestrians, they are in a hurry to go to work or to catch a bus so they cross the street in the middle of nowhere. Hey asshole, that’s what an intersection is for. These pedestrians feel that THEY always have the right of way. There would be a left turn arrow for cars to turn, then there would be a pedestrian trying to cross. Here’s a tip: it says “don’t walk” for a reason. If you get hit, it’s your own fucking fault. Sure the driver COULD have stopped, but you also COULD have waited an extra 15 seconds.

Cyclists make the whole thing worse by trying to be a pedestrian/car hybrid but fails at being both. They try to ride their bikes on the street and manage to create traffic by blocking a lane. Then they use the crosswalk to get to the other side. When they use the sidewalk they just end up running into people. “Get out of my way” they say. No asshole, stop riding your bike into me. I’d say biking should only be allowed in the special biking lanes, but there aren’t a lot of them and it would be impossible to get around. The city of Toronto is also spending large amounts of money trying to improve the conditions for cyclists including paving the snow in the winter for bike routes. Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell goes biking in the winter anyways? All resources should be put into paving the streets. After all, hundreds of thousands of people use them, daily.

So the moral of the story? Watch out for cars, they are dangerous.

This is a true story, it happened to me a while ago. I was at an intersection coming back from McDonalds, so I was stopped at a red light. The light turned green and right then some woman behind me started flipping out and honking her horn. I thought to myself, “Holy shit, I am going.” The thing was, I was moving forward the whole time she was honking.

Anyways, so after I make the left turn the woman is still driving behind me. At this point I decided to fuck with her, so I started going 40 in a 60 zone. That’s when she started flailing her arms around and yelling at me. I laughed, mission accomplished.

So the moral of the story is, don’t honk your horn just because I didn’t slam my gas pedal. I seriously don’t understand this woman, it’s not like I can magically teleport when the light turns green. Stupid woman.

Usually when I stay online ’til midnight I get a message from some drunk kid. I know I posted about drink kids before, but this is about something else. How many times have you been talking to someone online while they were drunk and you got a bunch of garbled text that looks like this: “imfg sio fkucknng drunkkk rightteee nowwwe.” I’ve got it enough to piss me off. I will just go out and say it right now, stop fucking faking it.

I can be drunk enough to have the room spinning around me and still type perfectly. The reason for this is I don’t exagerate how drunk I am. And if I am REALLY gone I just don’t go on my computer, it is that simple. However, I wouldn’t ever drive when I am that drunk, but on my computer I have something I don’t on my car. A backspace button.