So a while ago Ashton Kutcher had a race with CNN on who could get 1 million people following them on Twitter first. Ashton won this race and like in Punkd was a total douchefag about it. Fuck you Ashton! Continuing this story, his followers said the following statement “this just shows how a single man can beat a large media company.” Wait, Ashton Kutcher isn’t a regular fucking person, he’s a celebrity and he owes the media for making him popular. A regular person would never be able to beat CNN.

Let me explain a little on why he won. I got ads on Facebook to add him, and little girls want to suck his dick so they follow him on Twitter. Ashton is way more appealing to the social networking user base than CNN. What’s better, having 1 million followers on Twitter or having millions of people watching your channel a day. Yeah, fuck you Ashton.