It’s a fad that’s sweeping the nation. Dance-pop music. You see, the kids these days listen to the DJ music which cause the brain damage in their head, with their beating and their electro synth, so they don’t know what the jazz is all about. Anyways, enough parodying The Simpsons, this issue is serious. It seems “dance” music is becoming more and more popular. It seems that EVERYONE is listening to Lady Gaga and Kid Cudi now, it’s not just the Europeans anymore. This alone would not cause such a rage, but the fact of the matter is that this fad has spawned thousands of 15 year old girls going to all ages clubs and trying to be like their favourite hooker from the music television. 

It’s quite funny to see 15 year olds trying to party like someone who can LEGALLY purchase alcohol. They go out of their way to try and get a fake ID to get into clubs, and to buy booze. Spoiler alert: A fake ID only works if you LOOK of age. Bouncers are not stupid, they see people trying to use fake IDs all the time. You are not the only fucking person in the world who has one. So continuing the story of the night, you are not able to drink at the club so you pre-drink. You go to this club and then you get grinded by 50 guys (then later you get butthurt whenever someone calls you a slut). When you finally get home your parents yell at you for being drunk, you call them idiots and say they’re unfair.

This has been a true story, it happens every weekend. Consult your Facebook newsfeed for more information.